#random incorrect quotes

[gardenoblues]

Enid: I'm your best friend, and I want you to have the wedding of your dreams.

Wednesday: In the most haunted cemetery?

Enid: I want Tyler to have the wedding of his dreams.

[artzychic27]

Incorrect Quotes (VicTORIous edition)

Chloé: WHAT UP WITH THE DISCO?

Simon: I'm sorry I hit the wrong thing!

Chloé: NO! 15 years ago your mother gave BIRTH to the wrong thing!

—

Zoé: Ugh. Gross. Talk shows are for tourists and Canadians.

—

Luka: On Splashface, the top seven most popular kiddie songs are all about food. So let's write a kiddie song about food.

Max: ♪ oh, broken glass ♪ ♪ is not a food ♪ ♪ so don't you listen ♪ ♪ to some dude ♪ ♪ who says put cheese ♪ ♪ on broken glass ♪ ♪ and make a sandwich ♪ ♪ out of broken glass ♪

Juleka: What is wrong with you?!

Kim: I like it.

—

Zoé: *curtsying* Well, hello, if you please.

Marc: Are you a good witch? Or a sandwich?

Zoé: Who me? Well, I'm neither a witch nor a snack. You're talking some crazy chizz.

—

Nathaniel: Look, I just wanna say you all make me sick.

Marinette: Why?

Nathaniel: 'Cause you're all great looking, and talented, and popular. I mean, you guys always have something going for you. Marinette had her hat modeled, Alya’s blog is the number 1 source for all things Ladybug, Rose, Juleka, and Ivan are in a band slowly climbing the charts, and Max made a damn sentient robot. You guys have it all! And you're really worried about which one of you has the most followers? *The Akuma Class looks ashamed* Yeah, feel ashamed, 'cause you should feel ashamed.

—

Alya: I love mass texting!

—

Lila: We won because we rock!

Denise: Yeah, don't believe everything your daddy says.

Lacey: Like when he tells you you're pretty!

—

Jean: Eat your pants!

Lila: You eat your pants. Wait!

Mme. Bustier: Ehh, sorry Lila, but the next letter was...

Lila: F, I know!

—

Austin T: Guys, Mr. Grotke really wants everybody back in class.

Austin Q: And you really wanted a date to the prom last year but you didn't get one.

Austin T: What's that supposed to mean?!

Austin A: Quinlan!

Austin T: Tell him to quit being mean to me!

—

Zoé: Where are you goin'?

Cosette: For a... walk in the sunshine!

Simon: Oh, I'll come with you, I love sunshines!

Zoé: Hey, are you guys just going to get more followers?

Cosette: No...!

Simin: Yes, that's right! *He and Cosette leave the room*

—

Nathaniel: I think I've learned something about myself.

Marinette: That you're ungrateful to your friend who tried to fix you up with a cute boy?

Nathaniel: No. I just think I like to date a guy who, you know, fights back.

Marinette: You...

Nathaniel: I mean, a guy who's got strong opinions. You know? And a big mouth.

Marinette: Why?

Nathaniel: 'Cause it's not easy. Easy's boring.

—

Denise: Play that funky music, white boy!

Jean: You know I'm half Latino.

Denise: Well, then hit it, muchacho!

—

Mme. Mendeleiv: Ready? Drive-by acting exercise: You're all angry Englishman. Go!

Ismael: I insist you tell me who sat on me crumpit!

Reshma: Me grandmummy went to the loo while I snogged the Prime Minister!

Jean: This flock of Whip-poor-wills is bothering me trousers!

Marc: Good heavens! There's a dead cockroach in me brassiere!

Mireille: I told you not to put plump sauce on me banger!

—

Mme. Bustier: Nathaniel, what did you do that to your hair?

Nathaniel: What? You mean the color?

Mme. Bustier: Do you hate your mother?

Nathaniel: I love my mother!

—

Adrien: *singing and playing piano* My grandpa has a nose and my grandma has a nose. Everyone you know has a nose, nose, nose.

Nathaniel: … My zeyde’s nose was blown off in the war, so that song is a filthy lie.

—

Cosette: Hi, kids!

Aurore: Apparently, we're The Diddly-Bops!

Jean: And we're here to sing you a special song...

Simon: All about your favorite foods!

Kid: Sing about dinosaurs!

Marc: *Cheerfully* Nooooo!

[areyoureddieforittaylorsversion]

Richie: What is it called when you're horny for something but not sexually? Like I'm horny for Halloween but I don't want to fuck a pumpkin. Eddie:... Eddie: Do you mean excited?

[stormy-my-beloved]

Incorrect quotes

Kidnapper: I have your partner. Allison: What? I don't have a partner… Kidnapper: Then who just called me a lowlife b**** and spit in my face? Allison: Oh my god, you have Brodee.

Allison: What? I'm not aggressive! Brodee : Last Tuesday, you wacked me with a pair of crocs and stole my chocolate chips? Allison: Survival of the fittest, b****.

Allison: Good morning. Cole: Good morning. Lloyd: Good morning. Raelyn: You all sound like robots, try spicing it up a bit. Brodee: MORNING MOTHERF***ERS!

Lloyd: What do rainbows mean to you? Allison: Gay rights. Brodee: There's money. Raelyn: The sign of God's promise to never destroy the whole Earth with a flood. Cole: It is an optical phenomenon that separates sunlight into its continuous spectrum when the sun shines on raindrops.

Zane: Mice are having sex in my walls. Jay: Tattletale! Kai: You're just being ungrateful. Cole: It's their home too, you know. Lloyd: So what? Don't slutshame them. Zane: The mice are fucking AND now I'm getting heckled.

Kai: You know what? Kai: When I join this friend group I thought you guys would be dealing with my bullshit. Zane, Cole and Jay continue screaming about mold water Kai: Not the other way around. Lloyd: I dunno, sounds like you need to drink the mold water.

Zane: Hey, let’s mess with Lloyd, guys! Cole: Hey, Lloyd, your momma so fat- Lloyd: My mom committed multiple war crimes and is now locked in solitary confinement in a Bolivian prison. Jay: Well, uh- your dad- Lloyd: My father left when I was two to be captured and consequentially sacrificed by a group of feral ferrets. Cole: The fuck- Kai: Well then… Zane: Stop, Kai! Kai: Your grandparents so- Lloyd: My grandmother floated into the sky like a balloon with too much helium when my grandfather spontaneously combusted. Lloyd: You cannot best me, mortals.

[leo-artista]

Incorrect quotes ft. Stan twins

[percabethconvos]

Percy to Annabeth: I hope they put our names next to each other on the government watchlist

[random-twst-things]

*Mc/Y/N/Yuu having enough with the Overblots, and especially the most dangerous of them)

Mc/Y/N/Yuu: You have 13 seconds before this island fucking explodes

Mc/Y/N/Yuu, pointing at Malleus: You Hot topic Wannabe

Mc/Y/N/Yuu, pointing at Idia: And you Blue Gumball son of a bitch

Malleus, idia: ....

Mc/Y/N/Yuu: You have done nothing but destroy my life-

Mc/Y/N/Yuu, failing arms around: I hope you both die!

Idia: That's a bit overkill ngl

Mc/Y/M/Yuu: And almost killing everyone by opening the literal underworld because you couldn't control yourself from the blot wasn't?

Idia: ...Touché

Dividers by/from @/cafekitsune

(It's been a while 🧍🏽‍♀️)

[that-nerd-who-writes-fanfiction]

Arthur: I’m in love with you.

Merlin, scoffing: Yeah, how many others have you said that to?

Arthur: Everyone.

Merlin: …what?

Arthur: I told everyone I’m in love with you.

[hisbucky]

Athena, on the phone: Good morning, Buck! You don't usually call me this early in the morning, is something the matter? Buck: Morning, momma. I just wanted to ask something real quick. On the off chance that I get kidnapped and am being held for ransom, what should I do? Athena: ...Pass the phone, sweetie. Buck, rustling sounds: ... Kidnapper: My demands are simple — Athena: No, you listen here. If you touched even one hair on my boy's face, you're going to wish I had the authority to kill you by the time I'm done. I will find you, break you, and make sure your face will match the sheer idiocy that is your brain for even thinking that this was a good idea. Kidnapper: ... Buck, in the background: I told you that this was a bad idea.

[apoorhuman]

Mc: I feel like a mother of seven children.

Solomon: but I thought Lucifer is well behaved and the only mature one? Is he not excluded?

Mc: oh no, no no, Lucifer is the only mature one

Solomon: then why did you say seven?

Mc: I never exclusively said "the brothers"

Solomon: .... Are you co-parenting them with Barbatos and Lucifer?

Mc: yes

Solomon: ...

Mc:

Solomon: be patient ok? If you need anything just ask me for help *pats mc shoulder*

Mc: ah... Thank you Solomon I appreciate that

[gardenoblues]

Wednesday, trying to scare Tyler with death traps around their house: I'll get you.

Tyler: Nice try, honey. I'm sure you will.

---

Enid: You really don't know how to scare him do you?

Wednesday: Yes. It's starting to get on my nerves.

Enid: I have an idea.

---

Wednesday, standing on the edge of a cliff:

Bet you'll hate this.

Tyler, unamused: What now?

Wednesday: *jumps off the cliff*

Tyler: *Hydes out before he could think and caught her midair.*

Tyler: Wednesday, what the hell?

Wednesday: Aw, why, did I scare you?

Tyler: *hugs her tightly* don't do that ever again.

[artzychic27]

Random Incorrect Quotes time!

*Our three favorite redheads are trapped in the school basement*

Austin Q: *After Simon accidentally destroys some old school trophies while trying to escape* Ooh! You're in trouble!

Nathaniel: Hey! Nobody is in trouble! When it comes time to confess about the old trophies- and the confiscated candy- we'll just blame it on the evil basement shark.

Austin Q: The what?

Nathaniel: *Points to Austin Q's shark plushies sitting in the corner of the room*

Austin Q: But... That's not real! Jaws is my friend!

Nathaniel: No, Austin. Jaws is anything but your friend. They say these demons come alive at night and swim around through the air. Then it shall devour the souls of teenagers!

Austin Q: ... Yeah right! I don't believe that.

Nathaniel: And when the lights go out. The evil basement shark comes to life! *Cuts off the light, and every time he turns it back on, the plushie gets closer to Austin Q until it's on his head*

Austin Q: *Screams* IT'S EATING MY SOUL!

Simon: *Laughs* I love male bonding!

-

Austin Q: We're goners! *Cries*

Nathaniel: Relax! We'll just call someone to come get us out.... Except my phone's upstairs.

Simon: Mine too.

Austin Q: I've got mine! *Pulls out his phone and sees the battery is almost dead* But the battery's almost dead. I'll just text Armbruster to come save us. *Starts texting* Hey, blonde bitch. Come and get us out the basement. Also, tell Tomassian he still owes me fifty bucks, or I'm gonna kick his ass- Battery's dead.

Simon: Well, maybe if you didn't text like a grandma!

Austin Q: At least I had my phone!

Nathaniel: Guys, calm down. Now the one thing we can all agree on is... Austin is the worst texter ever!

-

Simon: Someone's at the door! *He, Nathaniel, and Austin Q rush to the door and knock as loud as they can* Help!

Nathaniel: We're stuck!

Austin Q: Get us out of here!

*Marc is on the other side*

Marc: Oh, God! The evil basement shark! It followed us from Greece! *Runs away* Curse you, shark! Curse you!

Austin Q: ... Our last chance. Ruined.

[areyoureddieforittaylorsversion]

Richie: what doesn't kill you makes you stronger

Richie: like radiation

[acid-ixx]

(name) wayne, gagged and tied to a chair:

the villain, untying their gag: hahaha! i have kidnapped you for ransom and your father only has 5 hours left to save you by paying me!!!

(name) wayne: damn bruh my father hasn't spoken to me in 13 and a half years i don't think he's coming for me at all, better if you shoot me instead lmao cause i don't think batman would save me either

villain: ...

yan! villain, untying your ropes: welp, kidnapping is basically illegal adoption, am i right?

(name) wayne: as long as i'm fed three times a day and you read me bed time stories before i sleep then i guess that counts?

yan! villain: sweetheart, you are getting more than that.

[ironicallyyn]

Mc: hey Lucifer.. wanna see something funny?

Lucifer: ... Sure?

Mc: shout

Lucifer: (shouts... But nothing happens) ?

Mc: (shouts)

Mammon, Levi and Asmo barged into the room: I HEARD SHOUTING!! MC ARE YOU OKAY!!??

[random-twst-things]

*Napping somewhere in the botanical garden*

Mc/Y/N/Yuu: Hey, I had a dream about you last night

Leona: Really?

Mc/Y/N/Yuu: Yep

Leona: What was I wearing?

Mc/Y/N/Yuu, shrugging: Nothing

Leona: I was butt ass naked in your dream? 🤨

Leona: you've never even seen my butt ass naked, how'd you- you better not be influenced by Rook

Mc/Y/N/Yuu: No, I mean like nothing special

Leona: ...

Mc/Y/N/Yuu, looking at him up and down (especially his Jesus sandals): you lack drip expeditiously my guy 😐

Leona: As if you're any better with those rags

Mc/Y/N/Yuu: Yea but here's the thing, these are school uniform hand-me-downs and I'm poor, your royalty and rich yet you still chose to look the way you do? 🤨

Leona, frowning: ...Go back to sleep

Dividers from/by: @/cafekitsune